Matheus Ferrero, CC0, via Unsplash Here you’ll find a sizable cluster of chuckle-worthy Instagram captions meant for boys. I’m sure you have your own ideas since you’re funny and all, but this listicle will give you a head start or even inspire you to create more witty caption propositions. They say guys who are genuinely funny are quite endearing, so good luck with your Instagram clownery.

Hilarious Instagram Captions for Cool Boys

Do you know why I’m always late? It’s because good things always take time. Girl, I will have to call you back. If I hide, I bet you gonna seek. It takes me like 3 days to wake up in the morning. Life’s a soup and I’m a fork. You know why they call it a selfie? Because narcissistic is too hard to spell. If you ever miss the sun, just look at me. My life’s a gigantic mess and I love it! When life gives you sh*t, you make a catapult and hurl it back. I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. Believe in your selfie! Who’s that handsome devil? Oh, I clicked on my profile again. I don’t trust only two kinds of people: (1) those I don’t know, and (2) those I do know. It’s your next favorite celebrity. Of course I talk like an idiot. How else could you understand me? Pathetic but aesthetic. Not heartless. Just using my heart less. I’m genuine and I trust some of my devotees are as well. I don’t know where I’m going but I’m on my way. Selfies are disgusting but not this one! Never reveal how weird you are to people until it’s too late for them to back out. Don’t be fooled by my listlessness. I’m actually busy at a cellular level. You never truly know what you have…until you clean your room. Trust people who like big butts—they can not lie. Every time I look at my text book, I think: “What a waste of tree!” Sure, dating is cool, but have you ever tried an eat-all-you-can buffet? The very moment the alphabet decided to get involved with mathematics, I quit! I’m a fun little lollipop triple dipped in psycho. It’s silly how people try to hurt my feelings. As if I have any. I was planning on saying something catchy, but I see I already got your attention. Why you hatin’ instead of appreciatin’? It’s true that looks aren’t everything. But I have them just in case. Since math is one of my biggest problems, I have no idea how many other problems I have. You’re the 9-5, I’m the weekend. Captions for selfies? Nah, I don’t need them. Cooking some fantastic bad ideas in my mind. I’m bitter, dark, and hot—just like your favorite coffee. Do you wonder why I don’t answer whenever people ask me whether I prefer love or food. Well, that’s because I’m busy eating.

The Most Laugh-Worthy Boyish Taglines

Stay strong, the weekend is upon us. Mind me not, just flexing. Growing up is such a hassle, I muttered to myself in my blanket fort. There are no bad pictures. This is just how things are when it comes to my face. Chilling like a gangster. You know baby, I’d take a Nerf bullet for you. You call it crazy? I call it fun! Photobomb me at your own risk! Don’t tell your girl about me. She might become a fan. Pic of me being an idiot. Teeth aren’t forever. Smile! If my life was a series, it would be an awkward food-themed comedy show. Not your baby boy. If you see this, you have a dirty mind. I’m the bomb, like tick tick. Occasionally, it takes me a whole day to get absolutely nothing done. I have no idea how to act my age. I’ve never been this age before. Master of funniness. Who’s a good boy? I am! If you try to tickle, I won’t be liable for your injuries. Hand me the burger and nobody gets hurt. And the Darwin award goes to… Some people have trouble sleeping, but I can do it with my eyes closed. Not everyone is lucky enough to be as cute as me. Captions are for losers. I’d wanna be me as well if I were you. A daily selfie reminds you what you look like. They say good boys go to heaven, but I’m a bad boy so I’ll deliver heaven to you. Teeth aren’t pearly until you laugh! I’m not always sarcastic, sometimes I’m sleeping. Some people have “aha” moments, I just have “oh seriously?” moments. If only my feet were as diligent in jogging as my thumbs are in scrolling. Baby girl, fall in line. Trippin’ on skies, sippin’ waterfalls. Life’s too short to wear matching socks. My last name is “ever.” My first name is “greatest.” Remember when I had a girlfriend? Me neither. Stay trippie, lil hippie. I don’t always study. But when I do, I don’t. I really don’t like how I look, but I think this one’s better than the 23 others I just took. Eating non-stop is one of my best talents. I envy my parents. Their kid is the coolest! My psychic girlfriend didn’t show up! Whoever thinks money can’t bring you happiness, transfer it to my bank account. If sleep is so important, why does the day start so early?

Fun Captions Guys Can Use on Instagram

According to the Billboard Hot 100 chart, the hottest single of the year is me! Self confidence is the best middle finger to all the hate. Whenever I feel like working out, I lie down until the feeling goes away. Real men don’t take selfies. Well, I just did. Too blessed to be stressed. Please play “Drop It Like It’s Hot” when you bury my coffin. Suns out, guns out. There are many single socks, yet you don’t see them crying about it. Always keep your head high. But remember to keep your middle finger higher. Whatever, I’m retired! Did anyone say food? What you’re currently looking at is a fine piece of procrastination. I see you’re smiling because you’ve got your eyes on me. May my life be as awesome as how I pretend it to be on Instagram. I’m like a real-life meme. Live your fullest today, for tomorrow you might be dead! Be a wolf, not a twatpopotamus. Doing nothing is actually not easy. You never know when you’re done. I’m not just a clown, I’m the whole circus! Why does my food look way better than me? It’s so rude that it isn’t Friday yet. I just cleaned my room. Now I’m all the trash that’s left. I have to be funny because being hot is not in my dictionary. 1 like? Great! I think the modeling world is ready for me. I doubt beer is the answer but it’s worth the shot. Every so often, when I shut my eyes…I can’t see. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. Wifi. Food. My bed. Perfection! Jut a general life update: “Hungry again!” I wish I could drop my body off at the gym and pick it back up when it’s ready. Savor this post. You won’t see another one for another twelve months. You can’t spell awesome without ME. Another fine day ruined by responsibilities. Why chase someone when you know you’re the catch? How could you not fall in love? Ready to be picked up by the garbage collector. I don’t know what to write girls, so just look at my face please. Is my tummy flat? Yup, but the letter “L” is silent. I know it feels good to stare at me all day, but please give your eyes a rest. A dirty thought a day keeps the weariness away. Being single has its own benefits. When I need me, I’m always there. Sorry, I can’t make everyone happy. I’m not bacon. Whatever it is, I didn’t do it. Raise your hand if you don’t know what to do. My hobbies include eating and thinking about the next time I’ll be eating.


patricia123 on June 09, 2020: Wonderful♡

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